Oops (for reals this time)

 Turns out, if I don't write for a few weeks, no one gets mad at me. Like I said, I know the bitch setting the rules and she's a total pushover.

Anyway, I've had an eventful few weeks. The brother that ran away is now in the hospital, first on suicide watch, now on some sort of psychiatric hold. My parents have decided that he is not coming back, apparently realizing the toll that dealing with him had been taking on the entire family.

I've decided to 3D print an army of tiny magnetic aliens to put around the house and torment my husband with, so that should be fun. 

It's getting warmer in Kansas, but there are still storms, three in the last week or so. A big concern is large hail, which is wild because where I come from the hail is never bigger than a BB.

Also, I just spent way too much money on Gordon Korman books, because I love them and they are so funny and I love reading them. I'm aware that I am slipping back into the loop of 'buy things to feel happy, feel happy for a little while, then buy more things' but I don't know what to do about it.

I've applied for a job finally, which is interesting. Maybe I'll run for town clerk in the next election.

Canada is still led by the Liberal party, which blows my mind because the Liberal party is the reason the country is in the state that it is in.

Updates, updates, updates. One of my cats has dandruff. I needed more grit for my rock tumblers so I bought more and paid like $25 shipping which is insane, but whatever. The new grit should last me for ages, hopefully. Now I need to find airtight containers for it, but that's not too urgent of a problem.

I'm thinking about changing therapists, because I need someone to push me to talk about the hard stuff and my current one isn't. Another new discovery for this week is a term 'splitting'. It's used to describe the abrupt shift of emotions found in certain instances in a BPD person. Happy to angry, laughing to sad, that sort of thing. I've done it my whole life and been aware of it, just never had a name for it. 

My younger sister, the one I'm pretty sure also has BPD, replied to a text of mine for the first time since January, but it was to be angry with me. She says that because I don't know why she's angry and I clearly don't remember what I said that made her angry, I can't possibly be sorry enough for it. I know, that doesn't make sense to me either. According to my older sister, it has something to do with the way I reacted when she was pregnant last summer and aborted. I told her I supported her choice, but that didn't mean I didn't think she should at least let her boyfriend know about the child. She got upset then too and didn't talk to me for two months. If I'm honest, though, I don't mind being away from her drama. It's nice to have my peace and not have to deal with her minor issues that she blows up and dramatizes until they're massive problems that everyone needs to be aware of. 

That's all for now. Toodles!

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